Beyond doubt

and my little scared mousy mind

Right now I’m thinking how writing is a catharsis for the writer. And how I hope it’s cathartic for some readers too! But this is not the topic I came to discuss… that inattentive mind!

Doubt

If like me, you wrestle with doubt, you might not know it. Or you could see it very plainly. I’m only seing the contours now, thanks to meditation, I think.

For me, it manifests as a dissociation, a break in the flow of movement, an anxiety rising, a knot in the throat.

At some point, an alternate perspective breaks in and the whole project switches to failure mode. Red everywhere. Where do I go from there?? Vortex of thoughts.

Beyond doubt

What I am playing with these days is to trigger a different state, beyond the doubting mind, by applying meditation techniques. I try and take as much stepback as possible on all the propositions of the mind. The scared, terrified mind. I watch it, pay it my respect, and move on.

Don’t try to dismiss it! it will only come back stronger.

Often, I’m afraid, and it requires some degree of courage because then, I have no idea if I’m safe, if this is the right choice, if I’m maximising (insert a metric that you care compulsively about, I’m not yet sure what mine is yet 😁).

But then a more intelligent way of living shows up. It aggregates the mind with emotions, sensations, and lets intuition kick in. It stems from the vast unknown where creativity, among others, reside.

From that place, there is no “acting”. There is only flow. And it is delicious.

So the more I touch it, the more I want it. You might want to try! It’s sweeter than candies 😊

If that daily wandering resonated, don’t hesitate to comment your thoughts or reach out!

Cheers